Real. My oldest squirt has been sick the last couple of days with a fever and diarrhea. Running to the bathroom, my squirt squirted a bit on the bathroom floor. Now, this is real.
Due to years of baking in the sun without the use of sunscreen, I now have funky bumps growing on my face which I periodically have to have burned off to prevent skin cancer. The process is painful, feeling as if someone is sticking tiny needles into my skin. The sick squirt mentioned above accompanied me today to one of these appointments since she was home from school. On the way home as my bumps formed white growths which will eventually form scabs, my daughter commented, “I’ve never noticed those bumps on your face before. I just thought your face was greasy like you’d rubbed Culvers buns on them.” I, in turn, had to wipe tears from my eyes at this because I was laughing so hard and so proud of her descriptive abilities.
While waiting in the doctor’s office to be called back into the little room, my daughter and I listened as an elderly couple read aloud from People Magazine and then commented on the stories. Hearing about a celebrity’s impending divorce and how much someone had paid for a house, my squirt and I held back giggles as the couple must have come across an article or recipe about smashed potatoes. The man and woman then entered a rather heated debate over the differences between smashed and mashed potatoes. We failed to discover what their final verdict was as my name was called by the nurse. What I do know is that sunscreen is a must, and I love me some real.